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War of the Encients

Page history last edited by Tim 14 years, 9 months ago

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War of the Encients

(-72,250 to -71,500 The Age of Whimpering)

This Epic War is the first in the history of Battal and is also the one that the least is known about. Below is a synopsis of all the known material about this possibly most epic of wars.


Reasons for the War

Encient documents regarding the war note that it was Kuluk'shokourung'tagag'onk who began combat, attacking the Encients and Nevelost with his vicious band of War Men. He sought to conquer more lands for his people, but was mostly interested in getting in a good row after losing his horse in a card game.

After some early defeats, Kuluk'shokourung'tagag'onk sought out the aid of the Elves and their army of Giant and regular-sized eagles. Later people would focus on the conflict of the Elves and the Nevelost, viewing noble Kuluk'shokourung'tagag'onk as merely the instigator of this conflict.

The Elves' hatred for the Nevelost was well known, as the Encients favored the Nevelost best, even teaching them the Epic Ways. The Nevelost, on the other hand, viewed the Elves as a haughty people with a continual stick up their ass. Seeking to aid their favored people and with nothing better to do, the Encients aided the Nevelost in the war, which first started out as a shouting match between the two factions. It is probably most well-known that this war was the point when the Elves promised to pwnxor those bitches and the Nevelost, in turn, threatened to show the might of their Epic Ways.

The War

  • The Elves and Eagles bring their superior numbers, and sense of superiority to the War.
  • The Encients bring their massively epic weapons of destruction and knowledge of the Epic Ways to the War.
  • The Nevelost try to mediate between the two sides, but get forced into the War.
  • Epic Battle after Epic Battle occurs in which the Encients bring to bear their weapons which could easily destroy Battal and beat the Elves and Eagles at every turn.
  • At some point Kuluk'shokourung'tagag'onk, who was participating in the war, gets killed by one of the Encients ultra-weapons.
  • Then it seems an unstoppable plague sweeps through the Encients and Nevelost weakening them. Apparently the Elves and Eagles are immune.
  • The Elves and Eagles take their vengence on the Encients and Nevelost.
  • The War ends with the remaining Encients and Nevelost fleeing to the Mysterwoods of the Northern Vale.

The After Effects

  • The Encients leave Battal.
  • The Nevelost end up befriending the Elves and eventually go into decline.
  • The Elves are confirmed in their minds as to the correctness of their own opinions about themselves. This leads to later problems (see: The Great Crossing Whilst Looking at Scenery).
  • The Eagles withdraw content with their own superiority.
  • Kuluk'shokourung'tagag'onk is remembered and revered by the War Men as being the first immortal ever killed in war.

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