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The Well Remembered, But Not Well Regarded Glaive

Page history last edited by Tim 16 years, 7 months ago

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Gaze, The Well Remembered, But Not Well Regarded Glaive

Swordsmithing is well known to be an aesthetic art, as well as a military science. So it is that Gragnakas (later to become Forge-King of the Dwarves), in his youth, studied art as well as smithing, in order to avoid declaring a real major. Decades later, when he was commissioned (or possibly extorted) to create 100 swords for King Selent the Cedricellian, and after a night of really serious binge-drinking, he applied everything he once learned but had since forgotten about taste and restraint in the design of the Glaive, giving it a really brilliant hilt, with gold leaf and these little dragon heads that curl around the base of the blade with ruby eyes, and a blade imprinted with runes and knotwork on one side and a laboriously copied complete illustration of the Second Battle of Under the UnderMountain on the other, in full color. Exhausted by all this effort, he neglected to give the cursed thing some damn balance, or, for that matter, a pointy tip.

The Glaive has often carried into battle by kings and noblemen, or more accurately by their squires, for its ability to impress the enemy into submission. A common sight on the battlefields nearest to wherever it is presently held is a crowd of warriors in full armor crowding around its wielder like a bunch of overstimulated schoolgirls, craning just to get a good look at it, never mind that its owner is leading the opposing army. Because of the subduing effect its mere appearance has on anyone with even a casual interest in arms and armament, the fear of getting it damaged in combat, and its essential worthlessness for the purpose of poking holes in people, the Glaive has never been actually used in battle. Its owners invariably spend half an hour or so swinging it around to admire the shine, then have it permanently mounted in a portable display case and never touch it again.

If you have ever seen it, you would understand why it is known as The Well Remembered Glaive. If you have ever tried to hold it and swing it in a direct arc from Point A to Point B, and not in a semiotically pleasing curlique designed by a hung-over dwarf king mad with memories of Native Overgroundian Art Appreciation class, you would know why it is not known as The Well Regarded Glaive.

One of the 100 Swords of Sepathok.

Discussion

This account appears to be inconsistent with the story ark of Gragnakas. According to that entry the first weapon was The Gripless Sword. Also when did Gragnakas attend university? Before or after his family is kidnapped?
Hmm, Gragnakas at college doesn't sound canonical to me, but let it slip. Also, The Gripless Sword was one of the first swords he made, not THE first. It was the first, though, to get some recognition, because it is one of the 100 Swords of Sepathok. I also don't think that Gragnakas could do something as pretty as this Glaive, just after making Gripless. Conclusion, let the Glaive stay, but we have to provide some extra explanation.
Is it possible that this was indeed the first of the 100? He made it in college as a portfolio piece but then never really did any more smithing until years later? So he just had it lying around and new that because of it's appearance he could throw it in with the others to save himself a bit of time?
Not exactly. Gripless was one of the first. After Gripless, he decided to go to school and he made this Glaive. Gragnakas considered the Glaive to be his first sword, but when Selent demanded his swords, Gragnakas remembered his old, practice swords he had made, so he added Gripless to save some time.
So technically the gripless sword wasn't really a sword but a half finished practice piece. Seems like something that lazy drunk Grag would do. Do we have canon on what the first was? Perhaps The Bladeless Sword?
Aha, some explanation, perhaps my entry was not as clear as it could have been: He designed TWR,BNWRG *using* his dimly-remembered art college skills, but much, much later, during the period he was forging the 100 Swords. Updated.—Mooninaut.

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