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Page history last edited by Tim 15 years, 1 month ago

Back to Shield Locations


Portund a provincial lowland desert fiefdom settled just east of the towering Beutrafficades Mountain Range. Mentioned only briefly in Morwid's Guide to Barely Mentionable Out-of-the-Way Fiefdoms, it's primary claim to fame was that although it continually applied for Twelve Realm status, it was never able to attain this lofty civic goal. Fortunately for the farmers and merchants living in Portund, while all of the Twelve Realms were systematically annihilated during the Vampyric Wars, this land was spared.

There is a brief rainy season each year when the lands become thick with mirey muck rather than desert and scrublands. It is on this short period each year that the mud farmers depend for their livelihood, and a drought during this period can spell ruin for entire communities.

Vhadxi shook the mud off his blackened cape and stomped through the door of The Fancy Fisherman.

The Bartender, Sailor Steve, lifted a glass of ale in greetings.

"Yar, matey!" he cried. "Welcome to The Fancy Fisherman! What can I do you for?"

The ghastly pallor of a man approached the bartender, and with leering menace, placed his hands atop the counter. "I, Vhadxi, Dark and Evil Vampyre Lord Supreme, ruler of Blackest Minathok, require the use of a donkey."

"A donkey, eh? I keep a cup of blood in the back, if you want it."

"Foolish mortal! I didn't come here for a 'cup o' donkey!' Find me a steed to ride, posthaste, and you shall be handsomely rewarded."

"A donkey, eh? I suppose you could talk to Markuel of Markuel over there, and he could fill you in a thing or two."

"Over where?" And as Vhadxi turned to look, he slipped on the floor, plummeted backward, and landed on the ground with a prodigious thump.

"You okay, son? Sometimes we leave things on the floor."

Vhadxi got up, and brushed himself off. His hair was mussed, and -- were it not for his excessive blinking -- appeared extremely agitated. "That man over there?"

"You're pointing to a wall. I meant the man over there."

"Right. Thanks ... mortal." ~(Chapter 8 "Fireside Tales, and Hilarity," Book 7, The Trial at Elddim's Peak)

Reasons Why Portund Never Achieved Twelve Realm Status

  1. Never had the proper resources.
  2. They kept asking for an extension.
  3. Unforseeable obstacles.

Notable Governors of Portund

Locations within Portund

Places to Visit

  • The Fancy Fisherman. Despite being an inland kingdom far from any common trade routes, this inn is a popular haunt for sailors and travellers.
  • After the year 26,115 - the Portunian Valley


I loved that bit! - Evan
I still chuckle when I remember the near slapstick description of Vhadxi trying to rent a donkey in Portund while trying to reach Ithbarg to conquer it. -tim
I almost felt bad for the poor Portundites until I realized that it was residual affection for the inhabitants of Tatooine. -ewige

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