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Nearly Flat Mountains of Urgel
Introduction
Though not nearly flat, but most certainly not pointy, the Nearly Flat Mountains of Urgel were a unique geographic oddity located in the northeast of The Shield and home to an extremely addled array of inhabitants. As a result, most of it's history is shadowed by a thick haze of forgetfulness and stupidity.
Plants
The most notable form of plant life in Urgel is Stickius Ickius (colloquial: Purple Hazeweed) Due to its extremely potent nature, the remaining botanical resources of Urgel remain completely unclassified, as every naturalist that has discovered Hazeweed immediately lost all of his notes and further ambition for academic research.
Animals
The animals of Urgel are extremely docile and considered to be quite easy to hunt, due to the fact that they spend most of their time laying around contemplating their paws. The active chemicals of Hazeweed tend to accumulate in fat cells over time, and so even predators at higher ecological trophic levels tend to get even more "hazed" than the herbivores that actually eat the stuff.
People
It should be no surprise by now that the people of Urgel are compete Dullards, rivaling the addledness of the inhabitants of Morlond's Field, but possibly with a better excuse. The only member of Urgel's society that seem to be able to keep a steady job is a Holy Baker, who helps out a population that seems to be disproportionately affected by glaucoma, back pain, fibromyalgia, etc.
Significant Historical Events
- At some point the Blade Sword is copied... maybe. Nobody seems to remember why, how, or if this actually happened.
- Either the Magic Sword inspires a popular strain of Hazeweed, or it happens the other way around. Someone forgot about that at some point.
- At some point, and for some reason, the Plain Hammerlings start hammering down the Mountains in order to turn them into Plains. Everyone was pretty sure it was a good idea at the time, and so they kept doing it.
- Kroneklieve the Hammer Baron arises to the throne of Urgel, and vows to improve the reputation of his people. His people, unfortunately, mostly consider him to be a "narc", "buzzkill", and an "idiot."
- Kroneklieve returns home to celebrate the end of The Burnten'ed Times with his people. They are all relieved, and apologize for calling him a "narc". At some point, the Hammer Baron gets belligerently inebriated and sends a messenger to the Minotaur, instructing them to tell Haul that "You smell bad and your hammers are totally wussy and you poop on yourself." For this, Kroneklieve is remembered as a complete idiot, as Haul was extremely disturbed after his twin brother's death and looking for an excuse to start another war.
- Kroneklieve and all of his Plain Hammerlings are destroyed in the very brief Hammer Wars, wherin Haul leads a band of the last remaining Hammer Lords in a bloody rampage across Urgel. As a result, prices of Hazeweed skyrocket. Everybody agrees that it is "a bummer".
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