Great Battle of Great Unificationess


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The Great Battle of Great Unificationsness

Name given to the final battle in the conflict between the Rhaja Lord and his army of Boar Men and the combined armies that made up the forces of Propitious Opportune that had been gathered in the Great Journey of Two Months of Great Joinification'ing, bringing to an end the The Burnten'ed Times.

The battle began rather unexpectedly. The Great Unificationated Army sat encamped on the border of the Rhaja Lord's controlled territory, waiting for Extremely Elf reinforcements from the south when a small group of Boar Men were sent to capture Propitious Opportune and the two minotaur, Haul and Gaul in a daring pre-dawn raid. After they had slipped shackles onto the three, Gaul awoke and let out a mighty roar. A band of Skarhs took this to be the cry to begin the battle, and the other armies followed suit.

At this point, the small contingent of Dwarves that King Br'gi had commissioned to help in the effort had been working on a collection of Dwarven Siege Bombs, which in the chaos were armed. A mad dash began to roll the large metal spheres out of camp before they detonated, bringing an early end to the rebellion by killing all in camp. As the dwarves, who were unforunately rather intoxicated, staggered and laughed and pushed the balls this way and that (this would later inspire the Dwarven sport of Chelfing) a swoop of majestic Eagles swept into the camp, returning from the Highest Eyries of the Low Valleys of Mandleclang. They clutched the bombs and with a mighty flap of their wings took them skyward. A few detonated almost immediately, reigning a red mist and cloud of feathers on the dumbstruck dwarves. Most, however, did not detonate until the Eagles had a opportunity to drop them onto the approaching onslaught of the Rhaja Lord's Shazba'at shock-troops, who had been poised just beyond a ridge, waiting to sweep down once Opportune and the minotaurs were secured.

At this point, the armies of the Great Rebellion of the Unified Rebels of the Free Lands of Most of the Shield swept into the territory of the Rhaja Lord, with no leaders or direction ready to kill or die as fate dictated.

It was just then that first rays of sunlight fell upon the fields as the first sliver of the sun appeared on the eastern horizon. What they saw stopped the men in their tracks. The field was full of Boar Men, an uncountable army equipped for battle on the back of snarling WratheSteeds, at at the front of the army... the Rhaja Lord himself on the back of Pulveire, holding aloft a black rod of obsidian which glinted ominously in the sun.

Silence and stillness fell across the army and a tense moment passed. Then the Rhaja Lord lowered his staff and with an earth shaking roar of bloodlustiness, the Boar Men began to charge.

Just as it was feared that the armies of good would lose heart and break ranks, a distant Elf Triangle was heard chiming the call to battle. Reinforcements, elves and arkleafers, had arrived from the east.

At the climax of the battle, the Rhaja Lord's forces are clearly being slaughtered and defeat is certain. It was at this point the Rhaja Lord claimed to have "left something really important back at the lair." He beat a hasty retreat with Haul and Gaul following fast behind. Of course Propitious was still shackled to them, so he was dragged along after them, with Garvey close behind trying to keep up.

At the mouth to the Rhaja Lord's lair, two Slavering Horntailed FangGlots are guarding the entrance. Haul and Gaul turn and pound the chain between then with their mighty hammers, severing them clean. They turn to fight their fateful battle with the beasts and tell Propitious and Garvey to follow the dire fiend inside while the guard beasts are distracted.

Inside, Garvey wraps some oil soaked rags around Duane and lights them, using the lance as a torch. Once deep within the ancient chamber crypt Duane begins crooning, high from the fumes of the flaming oils. Out stalks the Rhaja Lord himself, black cloak hanging about him like a pool of shadow.

It is here where the details of the story become hazy, but it is certain that Propitious Opportune is finally able to muster his courage and in a final hand-to-hand conflict, plunges his blessed and bejeweled Firebrand Dagger into the heart of the evil fiend, who stumbles backwards, still impaled by the dagger, deeper into his chambers. Garvey and Propitious turn and make a hasty exit as the masonry of the ancient tomb begins to collapse around them, as they ran Duane cried, "Noooooooo! You can't leave her here!"

But there was no time to go back for the dagger, Garvy and Propitous got out just in time to escape being buries alive with the Rhaja Lord.

Events of this battle are recorded by Ulfulaz the Historian, as told to him by Duane, the enchanted lance.