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Eagles

Page history last edited by Tim 14 years, 9 months ago

Back to Races

The Eagles

The proud, soaring Eagles of Battal were among the most noble of the races descended from the Kryatures. The great altitude of their flight was only matched by the depth of their contempt for the “flightless ones”, a classification they developed for all lesser beings (Eagles developed an incredibly exhaustive and sophisticated trinomial taxonomy for all forms of life that flew, hovered, and even a few that jumped very high).

Eagles (with an average wingspan of eighteen feet and intelligence higher than most varieties of Elves) are in no way to be confused with the hawks, falcons, falconhawks and hawkfalcons that were tamed by the Shamanic Priest Caste of the Arkleaf. These somewhat smaller, much less intelligent creatures were regarded as even beneath the lowest of avian parasites, and were only classified into the very modest number of eleventy-five separate taxonomic categories in the Great Tome of Highest Knowledge of the Great Eagles, (which was transcribed upon the side of the Tallest Mountain of Battal in droppings).

These droppings were covered in soot and blackened by the fires of the Burning of Portund by the armies of the Rhaja Lord. This incited the eagles to such fury that they left their high perches for long enough to enjoin with Propitious Opportune during his Great Journey of Two Months of Great Joinification'ing and join the rebellion against the rule of the dark lord of untime. This high time in the history of Men and other flightless races was considered as the Darkest of Ages throughout the remainder of Eagle Time.

“We have sought thee out, Flightless Ones,” spake King Hygwair the XII, “as you are the great minority of the wingless to have pioneered lost emotions approximating courage somewhere in your fragile, unfused vertebrae to form an insurgency against the base defilement and vandalism of our Great Tome of Knowledge by that foulest creation of phlegm and untime, the Rhaja Lord. Whom among yon putrid ranks has asserted the stewardship of this ambling rabble?”

“Mister Propitious” said Garvey, “I dunt know rightly what speaken theyse Eagles to us.”

“Hark! The apparition of leadership is found upon the unwashed pate of this slack-jawed, mudfarming bumpkin? Perhaps it is an ancient addledness of the minds of your forebears that is manifest in these military mummers. Nevertheless, it is the pledge of the last noble race of these dying lands that we shall give aid to any who appose the foul spawn of the Demon God’s hellish bronchii. In the absence of the Eagles, your mob would be adrift in a vacuum devoid of all wisdom. We shall be the beacon leading you through the distorted haze of the charred and smoking ruins of your very existence… to Victory

“I told you,” whispered Duane, “arseholders, the whole lot of them.”

-- Ulfulaz the Historian, Tales of Yorn Appendix D, footnote 36

Hygwair the XII was indeed correct: the contribution of his race to the Great Battle of Great Unificationess was of great importance. In the absence of the Eagles, the Rebellion would have not stood a chance against the horrors of the Rhaja Lord’s army, particularly the bloodthirsty Shazba'at.

The Eagles appear occasionally in The Elemenstor Cycle, mostly to heckle major historical figures, point out flaws in the strategies of Men, and announce what day it was in Eagle Time. Commentaries of the Eagles are usually inserted as footnotes so as not to break the painstakingly laminar flow of a chapter, allowing the reader to refer back to them at intervals that correspond with their level of reading comprehension. Some Single Author Theorists contend that the voice of Hygwair is an injection of Tycho Brahe’s harsh and eloquent criticism intended to inoculate his own work with an additional layer of metanarrative that deepens the lightless elevations of its Epicness.

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