Z'zzzzz the Alphabetically Last

Z'zzzzz the Alphabetically Last, father of A'aaaaa the Alphabetically First, uncle (and father-in-law) of Ooooo'ood the Alphabetically Middling, lived during The Sundered Era.

Born into and impoverished family fallen upon hard times, Z'zzzzz the Alphabetically Last was the last of 37 children. He was driven to succeed from childhood, enraged at the fates which had so cruelly cast him as the last of the poorest in the city of Bizarkule. Z'zzzzz always wanted to be a rich man, from the earliest moment he could remember; this fact he recorded in his journal, later imortalized in stone and buried under 1,000 tons of sand, to be discovered by an unwary traveller hundreds and hundreds of years later.

At the age of 19, Z'zzzzz the Alphabetically Last enjoyed brief fame (and notoriety) as a Furniture Destroyer. A near fatal incident with a woodcombobulator forced him into retirement at the ripe old age of 23. In his extended 4 year-stint as a Furniture Destroyer, Z'zzzzz the Alphabetically Last achieved the widely coveted rank of Shardsmith, and became one of the few men to master the destruction of rare Glass Furniture.

Retirement (though late it was-- Furniture Destroyers must also be masters of timesorc'ley) made a bitter man out of Z'zzzzz the Alphabetically Last. He abandoned his homeland of Bizarkule to settle in The Smoos, where he became one of the few living men to encounter Lukan Gradebearer and live to tell the tale. The details of the meeting are vague, and it is not known whether they met as friends or as foes. However, it is rumored that Z'zzzzz the Alphabetically last was one of the first humans to ever practice the art of Re-furnilisation. The fact that he was a Furniture Destroyer by trade has dark implications for both arts. Z'zzzzz must have paid a dear price indeed, if Lukan Gradebearer was in fact the one who taught him Re-furnilisation.

Z'zzzzz the Alphabetically Last eventually fathered a child in that desolate region, whom he named A'aaaaa the Alphabetically First in hopes of averting a bitter life of despair and alphabetic discrimination. Z'zzzzz the Alphabetically Last then migrated down The Smoos to the Republic of Boysenrasp, in search of a better location to raise his child after the death of his wife. There they became wealthy off their Dellberry Farm, and lived a life of relative boredom. During that period, Z'zzzzz was known to travel often to Bizarkule in search of the family which abandoned him. On these trips he frequented the Sleepy Wheatgrass tavern, where he was often seen with Kettletrop Longerdunger.

Despite his long searching, Z'zzzzz failed to locate his relatives in Bizarkule, due to the fact that he used Kettletrop Longerdunger's contacts almost exclusively in the search. Tragically, Z'zzzzz died outside the Red Stone Barracks at the age of 37 during the Third Minor Sundering of Bizarkule.

Z'zzzzz the Alphabetically Last is the subject of an unpublished novella and several unpublished short stories. A four book cycle of his life is rumored to be in the works, tentatively titled The Awakening, The Rise, The Rebirth and The Fall. However, the details of his shady encounter with Lukan Gradebearer on the peak of Mount Garmore son Pellistamon may never be fully understood.

Z'zzzzz the Alphabetically Last is one of the most intriguing anti-heroes of the lore of the ELotH:TES, and many fans eagerly await more information into his dark and murky past. As the protagonist of a spin-off series, he is particularly interesting as a character because he is neither wholly good nor wholly evil. In fact, the recent success of The Song of the Sorcelator bodes well for The Zycle of Z'zzzzz, a work with a similarly action-oriented focus, albeit of an infinetly higher quality.

(Clarification: The Zycle of Z'zzzzz is the announced title of the spin-off series chronicling Z'zzzzz the Alphabetically Last’s exploits. The books in this series are tentatively titled The Awakening, The Rise, The Rebirth and The Fall, though whether they will reach publication remains to be seen. Rumor has it that the original author died in the throes of the creative process and the search for a suitable replacement continues.)