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Ye Scurvy Seadog Taverne

Page history last edited by Tim 15 years, 11 months ago

Back to The Inns and Taverns of Battal

Ye Scurvy Seadog Taverne

Overview

Ye Scurvy Seadog Taverne is a pub created solely for pirates.

Such modifications include collapsible chairs, so that pirates can dramatically break them over one anothers' backs, and a swinging chandelier. During Happy Hour, the landlord hires one of the village drunks to hang from the chandelier with an unlabeled bottle of rum. This has been shown to increase revenue by up to 53%

Three bartenders are hired in Ye Scurvy Seadog Taverne: one serves the drinks, one's purpose is to spend the entire day spitting on and subsequently wiping the same beer mug, over and over again. The third bartender is solely hired to duck when a patron gets thrown over the bar into the stack of liquors behind them.

History

The pub itself has a long and illustrious piratey history. It was at the forefront of The War of Evil Pirates versus Eviler Pirates and also the headquarters of the Noble Pirate Alliance.

After several unfortunate incidents in its opening year, the following sign was nailed to the door:

*No casual cursing

*Eyepatches must be warn at all times

*No stereotypical pirate sayings without applying context

*The jukebox will not play Bootylicious more than once PER HOUR

*No pets, except seeing-eye parrots

*Do not start a fight without turning over at least one table first

*Please respect other pirates' feelings: do not say anything uncalled for

*Vegetarian meals available on request

*Pistols ARE ONLY EVER to be used to shoot glasses of patrons who are about to sip from them

*The management carries less than 2 pieces of eight at any time

*No ninjas allowed

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