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Weremersphinxpytaur

Page history last edited by Tim 15 years, 12 months ago

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Weremersphinxpytaur

"For the love of everything, someone please KILL US!"

Weremersphinxpytaurs (traditionally called "Jumbles" for short) are quite possibly the most pathetic and twisted race Battal has ever seen. There are the bizarre hybrid of several other species that were already hybridized to begin with: Werewolves, Mer-Mundanae, Minotaurs, Centaurs, Sphinxes, and Harpies. Also, there is some conjecture that there is Llama in their blood, somewhere, but nobody's sure where.

Their description is pretty complicated. Jumbles have a human torso, head, and arms - however they have both gills and lungs, and bull-like horns on their heads. Their waist is attatched to the front of a lion where the lion's head would be, complete with golden fur and lion forepaws and claws. The lion's shoulders have gigantic harpy-like wings extending from their body. The Lion's body ends in the rear legs of a horse from the centaur side of the family. Finally, they posess giant fish-like tails for maneuvering in water.

Oh, and every month at the full moon, some wolf parts happen to sprout from various parts of their body, making their pitable situation even worse. Anyone they bite while in this form also becomes a Weremersphinxpytaur.

Jumbles are actually very skilled, posessing superhuman strength, endurance, senses, the ability to fly, run at high speeds, claw things to shreds, gore things with their horns, excellent at swimmimng, superhuman intelligence, greatly lengthened lifespans, posess the ability to breathe both water and air, and have hypnotic voices.

All of this is balanced by the fact that being made up of eight different species is hell on every aspect of their lives. Most of the time they try to kill eachother because they think their own bodies look delicious or frightening. Sometimes they'll end up running in fear for miles from their own bodies. Sometimes they have the urge to graze, or eat cattle, or just have a sandwich, or all at once - usually.

Their sex lives are also hellish, as they are constantly assaulted with eight different types of hormones as once (and posess a set of genitalia that's obviously a hodgephodge of eight different species as well), and are constantly confused about how to satisfy their urges. Do they just have sex like a mammal? Do they put on eagle-like mating displays? Do they lay eggs in the water and fertilize them? Do they lay bird eggs? Give milk to their young? EAT their young?! Even they have no idea. However, their monstrous libido along with their ability to pass their condition onto others has kept the species from reaching extinction, despite the high suicide rate.

Watching them move is painful to see, seeing eight different skeletons all tied together, trying to move at once. It's like watching roadkill trying to take a stroll. It is unknown if the Weremersphinxpytaurs actually experience pain while moving, but it's hard to imagine they don't.

Werewmersphinxpytaurs also have an obession with mazes and riddles, it is thought that occupying their minds keeps them from thinking about being nature's cruelist joke.

Many religious theorists suggest that Weremersphinxpytaurs are living proof that whatever created the universe has a sense of humor. And is a total son of a bitch.

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