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Trafficant the Sly

Page history last edited by Tim 15 years, 11 months ago

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Trafficant the Sly

Trafficant is first introduced in chapter 7 of Book 8.

Born and bred in Pormora, Trafficant was not content with the quiet life. No, he wanted a life of adventure! So when he was 16 he set out on a quest to find a quest. He found his quest in the form of cute Asana Millytopthought, a spunky 12-yr-old girl intent on finding Eldersbane, a mythological floating castle.

The two are seperated when Asana falls off a cliff and Trafficant flies away from pursuing Halfmen. He is found by Thad Obor and others, who point him towards Asana.

When Barry the Door Guarding Troll goes on strike Trafficant is able to sneak into Camper's Delight, where he hears a rumor that may give them a clue to defeating Eldersbane. He finds Asana, but she is attempting to use the Guidepath Numbers and vanishes!

With the help of a group of rebel Chthonic Swinemen and "The Power of Love" he finds Asana, who has grown into a lovely woman in the 3 years since last they met, in time for it to be revealed that he is the son of Nixwing the Dark, the last Archmage of Eldersbane. They manage to defeat the archmage with great difficulty and vow to rid the land of all evil.

Their union does not last, however, as Asana discovers via drunken confession that Trafficant had dallied with Thad Obor in their 3 years apart (and, in fact, until Thad died). Understandably furious, Asana left him, baby in tow.

In fan fiction he was crushed for all of about one week before moving in with Grand Elemenstor Raffleston, a wannabe sex-fiend. Although it is largely assumed the two were in a relationship, this did not stop Raffleston from pursuing anything alive (or formerly alive). And, to the delight of El-Slash fans everywhere, it did not stop Trafficant from pursuing other men. (His claim was that Asana was the only girl for him and he would never be with another girl. El-Slash fans claim she was a convenient excuse).

When he was quite old he met up with Jackpot, a free furniliar. Jackpot coaxed Trafficant into abandoning Raffleston (who was getting senile anyway) on the pretext that he "hated peanuts".

In Canon he really did run of with Jackpot after a life of boozing in an effort to forget Asana. Sadly, the two both died during Second Battle of Timidity and Indecisiveness, when Jackpot exploded.

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