Back to Professions

Town Crier

Originally the position of Town Crier came with the responsibilty of transmitting news to the town's residents. However, one day, a Town Crier was attempting to nail a notice up and go back to the inn for lager and wenches, when the hammer slipped and hit his thumb. As a particularily sheltered man, the Crier was not able to control his emotions or supress his pain, and wandered about the town in tears. Even though his pain ceased, he still kept on crying, unable to halt the flow of emotion. This caused many of the townspeople to forget why exactly they had a town crier if they had a notice board, and merely assumed that the title was literal. As a result, the holder of the position has to walk around crying. It has gotten to the point where at Town Crier conventions, James "Sniffy" Worthington lasted 46 hours straight of sniffles against reigning champ Scott "Teary" Mctearyson.

The dark cult of Town Criers, the Stergeco Moritus, claims that the town crier of legend, didn't actually cry, but swore. This means that they've made a fortune by blackmailing people... if you don't pay up, they'll come and "proclaim" at your event.