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Paradox Negating Mittens

Crafted by a Master Chronosorcellor, a pair of Paradox Negating Mittens (commonly, a Pairadox of Negating Mittens) allows the wearer to safely handle objects ensconced in time-, space-, or other types of paradoxes. Considered the bare minimum of protection to be worn when attempting to strangle one's mother in the past before one is born, the mittens are in short supply. This is for two reasons: they are difficult to craft, and often the wearer does something stupid with the paradox-charged item that not even the mittens can stop.

Stupid things people have done while wearing Paradox Negating Mittens (An abridged list)

• Reach back in time through rip in reality, grab cat, bring back to present. Cat rips mittens, time space vortex opens.
• Reach back in time through rip in reality, grab scissors, bring back to present. Scissors rip mittens, time space vortex opens.
• Reach back in time and strangle self.
• Reach back in time and make grandfather impotent.
• Reach into the future and strangle that which will eventuall be the wearer because the future self has not sent any money back in time.
• Attempting to wield D'Yablo's Demonic Device but accidentally letting it touch the user's elbow, unshielded by mittens.
• Losing The Misplaced Pouch of Miniscule Glass Spheres while trying desperately not to lose it, and simultaenously wearing the mittens.
• Go back in time and burn down the shop that supplied the yarn for the mittens.
• Reach back in time in an attempt to obtain the Bag Filled With All Bags That Do Not Contain Themselves. And turn it inside out.
• Bodily travel back in time trying to be the first to patent the mittens, notice that the patent office is filled with 36 Elemenstors all wearing the same single par of mittens and get into a fist fight with all of them, causing a Pre-Sundering and Ir-re-sundering at the same time, giving everyone who ever will exist a slight earache.
• Turn Battal back on it's axis, not realizing that has no effect on time.
• Travel back in time and sleep with your sister, not realizing that not all incest-time travel combinations are paradoxes.
• Placing an object governed by Tardis Physics inside another such object.