Back to Religions of Battal
Loatherians
Pronunciation key |
Low-thair-ee-an |
Object of worship |
See text. |
Holy text |
"I Despise You," by Hedge Maibets |
Main Holiday |
The Day of Loathing |
Stance on Partial Birth Abortions |
Mandatory. |
Loatherians believe that loathing a thing or being is the supreme act of defiance against that thing or being's creator. By expressing dissatisfaction with everything and everyone around them, they show their defiance to any and all beings responsible for the creation of any and all things in Battal.
The principles of Loatherianism have been known since the Thankfully Lost Age of the Emo Kids, but they were not codified in written form until the Age of the Magic Sword Kings. The man responsible for this dreadful act was one Hedge Maibets, a thoroughly vile little man who hated everything - up to, and including, himself - and wanted to make sure that everyone knew exactly how much he hated them.
Converts to Loatherianism tend to be petty, self-hating individuals who blame everyone but themselves for their problems. Many have a beef against the religion of their parents or community and seek to show their "superiority" through utter disdain. There are no known Loatherian churches, as Loatherians tend to hate the concept of organized religion, as well as hating one another. Still non-Loatherians consider Animosity as the deity of the Loatherians.
Other things that Loatherians hate include: politics, religion, their parents, the "man," going to school, family reunions, family vacations, popular kids, jocks, acne, having to walk everywhere, not being 18 yet, not being 21 yet, popular music, friendly dogs, unfriendly dogs, ambulatory furniture, popcorn seeds that get stuck in their teeth, paper cuts, that guy who sells kielbasa on the corner because he's just too nice so I bet he's hiding bodies in that freakish little kielbasa cart, the opera, newspapers, stupid hats, vegetarians, vegans, carnivores, omnivores, roadkilled skunks, living skunks, guidance counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, taking medicine for their depression and/ or psychosis, doing time in the psych ward, and being confused with Hatetarians.
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