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Gunter's big Book of Fakts about STUF

Page history last edited by Tim 15 years, 11 months ago
elothtes :: Gunter's big Book of Fakts about STUF (full)
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Gunter’s big Book of Fakts about STUF

A reference tome compiled by Gunter the Flick, the Emporer of Morlond's Field. Containing a maximum of two business days worth of facts at any given time, this book is somewhat of a misnomer and has generally contributed to the widespread belief that Gunter was, to quote one scholarly analysis, “clinically retarded.” These facts, or fakts, are wildly inaccurate at best, having been disregarded by nine out of every nine individuals, with the obvious exception of Elanfariestel the Easily Convinced. Some of the more well-known fakts to have slithered across this book’s pages (there is a certain amount of speculation that in his mental unsoundness, Gunter the Flick often mistook snakes for pieces of parchment) are the study proving that females (esp. female flowers) are inexorably attracted to flowers, and the fakt that Gunter was not the author of said study; he was out one night, looking for cabbages at which to hurl a miserly old chicken when he happened upon a piece of 8.5" x 11" notebook paper, loose leaf of course. He took the paper home where he Elemensticky Taped it into his book. A common topic of debate (and the subject of a popular drinking game) was why Gunter would include the fact that he stole the study in the same book with the actual study.

Many a scholar have wondered if the STUF at the end is actually a clever abbreviation for something much more sinister than something slightly less sinister than itself, thus resulting in a nullspace where an object is slightly less and much more sinister than itself in the same instant, but never for more than one business day. However, at the mention of the word clever, everyone immediately abandoned that theory, opting instead to decide once and for all that the writings of Gunter the Flick were not really worth talking and/or thinking about. Summarized nicely by one scholar by saying, "That is the end it, as far as we’re concerned, and that is as far as you shall be concerned, lest ye be befallen by a horrible fate."

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