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Eldritch Beings Beyond Comprehension

Page history last edited by Tim 15 years, 11 months ago

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Eldritch Beings Beyond Comprehension

The Eldritch Beings Beyond Comprehension is a term given to great and mighty nameless things that rest below the rungs of reality in some dark and forgotten place, perhaps in the Nastiest Planes or the depths of The Underdeep, with great powers and innumerable intellect, The Eldritch Beings Beyond Comprehension live for millions of years. This is unfortunate, for they also age at the same rate, and thus, have been trapped in an endless twilight of a juvenile obsession with Ridiculously Alcoholic beverages and Frat Parties for the last few millenia.

Few descriptions have been given to beings so horrible and nameless, however those that do seem to rant and go on about tentacles, eyes, claws, suckers, and wings ad infinitum, often writing in their own blood until they die of Acute Alcohol Poisoning. As one Elemenstor said after reading the rantings of one of the corrupted souls: "Ew!"

Many horrific and terrible things and objects have been attributed to the...tendrils...of the Eldritch Beings Beyond Comprehension, such as the Beer Bong, Bitchinbrau, and Hello Kitty, it is also rumored that they had a hand in the penning of Hard Tactics Xtreme: Women with Bulges and Pouches, by Rob Liefeld, but this is only a rumor. It is beleived by some that the only way to destroy the foul works and items made by the Eldritch Beings Beyond Comprehension is to toss them into the Holy Incinerator, which, though a cool idea, will not work as the Incinerator is believed to be "Not All That Holy at all."

It is believed that the ones that the Slightly Older Ones may be slightly older than are the Eldritch Beings Beyond Comprehension. Certainly they are more mature.

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