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Dark Hogs Cheese

Page history last edited by Tim 15 years, 12 months ago

Back to Cheeses

Dark Hogs Cheese

Like its less exotic cousin, Light Hogs Cheese (also known as "Dolzeberg Cheese" after Var Dolzeberg), Dark Hogs Cheese is not a cheese in the usual sense of the word. Both are (technically) meats. But where the tasty-if-a-bit-sour Light Hogs Cheese is made from the head meat of the Ox-Pig, the overpoweringly pickled Dark Hogs Cheese is made from the head meats of Chthonic Swinemen or Boar Men and may also include meat from the heart or the feet. The meat results from thoroughly pickling a "hog's" head (with organs removed), then boiling it down to produce a gelatin.

Dark Hogs Cheese is actually considered "startlingly tasty" by those who can tolerate it. It is usually served with Ridiculously Alcoholic Beverages as a cold-cut appetizer and has an unmistakable flavor. Those who actually eat it also gain an unmistakable odor, as Dark Hogs Cheese is both so vile in its source and so unbelievably pickled that it produces truly Epic flatulence in all who consume it. This makes it extremely popular at Festivus, when all flatulence may be lamely excused as an "airing of a grievance." Dark Hogs Cheese is also integral at the Feast of Peace, though typically consumed in tiny quantities, and was on the table at the Fabulous Feast of Gluttony.

The favorite cheese of Moistener Toobanor, hero of the Battle of the 18 Winds and 7 Half-Winds, Which is Really Just 21 Winds and a Single Half-Wind, and his television counterpart, Mr. Toobanor Beaubier. Needless to say, this is not a popular cheese among Halfmen, who find its consumption a questionable pursuit at best.

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