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Dan the Badass

Page history last edited by Tim 15 years, 11 months ago

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Dan the Badass

A complete and total badass. He slays Dragons by day, and sleeps with your girlfriend by night.

On a dare he ate his own leg once, then yelled at his bloody stump angrily until, in a desperate moment, it grew the rest of the leg back out of fear.

On more than one occasion, he has brought a normally proudful Obscene Slug to tears. The salty tears, of course, dissolved the creature, and Dan whipped out a guitar and produced an awesome riff in perfect tune to its dying screams. Every woman in a 40 mile radius was immediately lain with child.

It would take 8 normal men to carry his axe, the Battleaxe of Fatal Death. It would take twice that to carry his cod piece.

Swallowed a live Claw Shrimp, intending it to kill the bat-mouse head eaten earlier. No one knows why he swallowed the bat-mouse.

Ultimately his life came to an end when he travelled backward through time and battled himself to the death, simply because he'd run out of decent opponents in his own timeline.

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