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Bag of Recklessly Efficient Bagtricide

The Bag of Recklessly Efficient Bagtricide is brutally clever at what it does - convincing other bags to hate themselves so much that they find any other role in life besides the life of bagdom. It is rumored that many magical hats and seemingly worthless tables, chairs, cookie jars, and potato peelers are actually bags that the Bag of Recklessly Efficient Bagtricide coerced into emptying themselves of their contents and moving on to bigger and better things.

Bags affected in such a way as to be convinced they are not bags will start placing themselves in any and all situations that will cause their owner to abandon them or try to use them in new ways. They will nearly always empty themselves of their contents, and, depending on their level of magical prowess or lack thereof, change into common household items.

The last owner of the Bag of Recklessly Efficient Bagtricide kept it in his possession for thirty years, being that it was the only trustworthy container he could ever own. He met his unfortunate demise in the most fortunate of ways, as when a bag sewn around the edges with razor sharp teeth for shredding magical documents quickly attached itself to a bulky garment in order to abandon its previous life, the owner was beheaded, and the hooded sweatshirt was born.